


I Can't Make You Love Me

by voicke



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Comfort Sex, Crying, Depressed Victor Nikiforov, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Lemon, Loneliness, Lonely Victor Nikiforov, M/M, POV First Person, POV Male Character, POV Victor Nikiforov, Praise Kink, References to Depression, Sad, Slow Burn, Smut, Third Wheels, Top Katsuki Yuuri, Yaoi on Ice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:56:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21708949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voicke/pseuds/voicke
Summary: What do you do when you feel the love of your life slipping away right before your eyes? Silently, slowly, and painfully. What if, on top of that, they are completely unaware of it? Victor Nikiforov asks himself the same questions. Should he tell Yuuri about it? Or should he wait and see where time takes the relationship? The only thing he knows for certain, is that his heart feels slit in many cuts.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	I Can't Make You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! This is my first work for Yuuri on Ice! So I hope you like it, it's a little angst thats later gonna be sparkled with some sinful stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) so be looking out for that  
> This song would be perfect to hear while you read this, so if youd like, click the link its a BOP  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjmBLCbTgDo

One… One would think that, after everything I’ve done for him, he would at least text me.  
He would text me goodnight, he would text me to tell me how his training went, he would text me to ask me how I’m doing.  
But no. Since he came back, he has been different, and it seems like he isn’t even aware of that.  
Let me… let me collect my thoughts, a bit, since my mind is an utter mess at the moment.  
A year ago, maybe a few months more, My boyfriend Yuuri took off to Australia to train with his best friend, Pichit. He was ecstatic, and I remember how in love I was with those bright eyes he carried as he would tell me everything he would do over there and how happy he was as he would be with his friend again. I was proud.

As his coach, I was happy he was expanding his knowledge and excited he was exploring new techniques in other countries, so I was eager to watch him become better at his craft.  
We video chatted almost everyday.  
I looked forward to the hour he would be available so I could call him.  
Sometimes, I would even stay up late so we could talk even for five minutes.  
I knew everything would be okay.  
Because he is my boyfriend, I love him, and I knew our love is stronger than a few thousand kilometers separating us.  
Yuuri would tell me about his day, what he did. He was excited, bright eyed, he was exploring a different facet of him he didn’t even knew, and I could see he was having the time of his life.  
As he was happy, I was too.  
But, was I wrong? Did I make a mistake? Was our love not strong enough?  
Because he seems distant now, since he has come back from Australia.  
I feel him more far away now than when he was at the other side of the world.  
And he… he doesn’t know. He became accustomed to being without me, and I became accustomed to the wait and longing I had for him that whole year.  
As such, we have created this vicious circle.  
He isn’t there, and I wait for him in silence.  
Will he realize he is hurting me? I’m I thinking too much? Will his place in my heart be able to be filled by just longing?  
Yuuri, why don’t you talk to me anymore? Why are you so far away? Will I be able to ever reach you again?

I rip the piece of paper in which I was writing those words, I needed to get them out of my system and I couldn’t tell them to the love of my life face to face, as he would think I’m crazy.  
I check my phone for the tenth time in an hour. Thousands of messages, none from Yuuri. I sigh.  
Lately, we only see and talk to each other during training, and that’s it. I hate it. I need more of him… and… and he doesn’t know that.  
I sloppily walk towards my king sized bed and prepare to sleep, it’s 2 AM, and I have to wake up early.  
I pat my covers, gently, to call Makkachin. The brown fluff bounces towards me happily and snuggles on my side.  
I pet him idly as I fall into a deep slumber.

I wake up. Not by choice, of course. The damned alarm on my phone had been ringing for half an hour, at least, and my dog was starting to get anxious. So I, with all the willpower in the world, drag my feet towards the bathroom.  
My toothbrush feels heavy, and I couldn’t be bothered, so I just don’t brush my teeth.  
I return to my bedroom, take off my shirt and toss it to the other side of the room. Makkachin watches me as I slowly make my way towards my closet. I open the nearest drawer and grab a black t-shirt, which I’m not sure has been washed lately.  
Im wearing joggers already, so I’m all set.  
I put it on me, and I go back to my bed one last time to pet my brown hair ball of a dog.  
All this, while the curtains are shut closed.  
Ugh, do I have to have breakfast?  
No, I don’t want to, so I don’t. I grab my keys, and swing them side to side.

The sunlight hits my eyes aggressively as I walk out. I’m not sure if it’s specially bright today, or I’m just too used to inhabiting in the dark. Anyway, regardless of which one it may be, I start to jog towards the ice rink.  
My stomach growls and I feel weak, but I’m going to see Yuuri today, and that gives me the boost I need to arrive there in one piece .  
I close the glass door gently as I get there. I’m catching my breath. I guess eating barely a meal a day has taken a toll on my body.  
I can hear Yuuri’s skate blades scraping the ice as I drag my feet towards the locker room.  
I’m anxious to be there, by his side. Once I have my blades on, I practically run towards my boyfriend, but I reduce my speed gradually as I come near him, I greet him with a shy smile.

“Hey, Victor!” He says, casually. He then proceeds to perform an impressive triple Lutz jump. I analyze his body as it flies into the air. His form is perfect. He lands as delicately as a feather, and it looked as if he had been practicing that jump for his whole life, when in reality I had taught him that only a week before.

“Yuuri, your technique has improved amazingly,” I say, with my index finger on my lips “You are learning so fast.” I finish saying, enthralled by his movement on the ice. He truly belongs here, above this frozen place. One with his body.

“Thanks!” He says. He lets out a laugh, huffing out a puff of warm vapor.

I breathe in the cold air, and begin to skate with him. I am circling him, and he is circling the ice. My feet are softly scratching the surface, barely floating above it, looking light, weightless. At the same time, his toned legs are marking it, claiming it his own, like a king conquering new land. We are like two drops of water on a car window, chasing each other, fusing into one.  
Moments like this are the highlight of my whole day; moments where I can forget how my boyfriend is slowly dripping from in between my fingers, and we can just be one with our element, together.


End file.
